| after he jumped |
after he jumped
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Mar. 1st, 2009 @ 07:12 pm
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Welps, it's been a whole year since he jumped off the Golden Gate.
I remember coming home from work that nite, and right away I could tell something was wrong. My mom had this really sad, frown on her face that she didn't bother to cover up.
"Ah, fuck. Don't tell me mom & dad got into a fight again. I hate it when they fight."
Of course, it was something rather different. Then so began a nightmare that you wished would just end.
We had a gathering for Damien at his dad's home this weekend. Met some new faces, and also saw some people I haven't seen in ages. In the backyard, there's a grove dedicated to his memory. It's a really nice grove.
I didn't go to the Bridge today though. I haven't gone since he jumped. One day, I'll visit. One day....
Every now & then, I still have dreams that he didn't really jump after all. He was just hiding at one of his friend's pad, or some silly disappearance act like that. Then you wake up, and reality hits you again.
Bi-polar, just like depression, is a medical condition. It's something to take seriously. Whenever I hear people say "Oh, it's just in their heads", or some stupid ignorant remark like that, I try really hard to bite my tongue. B/C whatever comes out of my mouth may not be pleasant.
At the gathering, I was told twice that my mannerisms was just like Damien's. Even that I looked a little like him. First times I've heard these sentiments before. I never thought that Dame & I were really similar, physically-wise. Interesting.
I don't know where I'm going with this. I just hope, cousin, that you're with grandma and you have the peace that you could never find in this world.
Current Mood:  melancholy
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